How often do you run into someone that you use to be close friends and you have a dialogue that is similar to this:
You: How have you been?
Them: Good! Good… how have you been?
You: Oh, good… so what’s new?
Them: Oh you know… same old… we should get together sometime for lunch or something.
You: Ya, let’s do.
Them: OK, well it was nice seeing you…
You: You too… take care.
How do you feel after a conversation like this? Do you feel like you have renewed your connection with this person? It seems to me that a lot of conversations like this take place solely because it might be considered socially rude to not acknowledge the person. Maybe the intent of the statement “we should get together” is sincere?
A lot of people in my life have thrown out “we should” statements, but with no firm date set. “Hey man… it was great meeting you at that conference, we should Skype sometime” or “Hey, we should get some cocktails sometime.” I’m sure they happen all of the time in your life as well. Maybe you say them a lot?
Recently, I ran into an old colleague at the gym. We had a bit of small chit-chat and I threw out the “we should get some lunch” line, I was even being sincere about it. A few weeks passed. Shit, no lunch. One day, I sent him an email and said “want to do lunch?” He couldn’t, and replied that he was busy for awhile. Not a big deal.
The important take away is this: it’s really important to consider your interactions with others. If you catch yourself saying the “we should” lines, ask yourself if you’re being sincere. If you are, set a date at that moment… if it doesn’t work that’s OK too. When it really comes down to it, if you really care to meet someone, you’ll make it a priority. They’ll do the same for you. If the meeting doesn’t happen, you should probably just accept that this person isn’t a priority to you or you might not be a priority to them. That’s OK too.
If you’re not sincere about meeting this person, please don’t throw out a “we should” line. You’ll save everyone, including yourself, a bit of guilt about the meeting not happening.
What are your thoughts?
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- You’re Only as Good as Your Word
- Fear and Loved Ones
- Life is About Maximizing the Happiness Function
Follow me on Twitter: @jprichardson
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